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Strip at night in vegas? I’m in.


All these bloggers were talking about Stripping at Night in Vegas and I thought it was something I’d be interested in. Instead, it was a marathon. Booooooooooooooo! Count me out. There are only 2 reasons I would go to Vegas and not one of them is running on the strip. Really I’m just jealous and wish I could have met SR, OUAL and ROTR because I’m a blog stalker and would have taken pieces of their hair to bring home with me. Really I’m not creepy.


completely switching gears. As most of you know December 6th is a day only i care about really important national holiday. My birthday (aka Pearl Harbor Eve). My husband is the most perfect husband on the face of this planet. I say this planet because apparently there’s a new earth-like planet that I haven’t been to yet. I don’t know what the husbands are like there. Unless they are really mean, angry, human hating, life sucking aliens (does anyone else have an irrational fear of aliens?). Anyway… my husband knows me better than anyone else on the face of this planet (not sure if the husbands on other planets can secretly tap into our lives and know us better than we know ourselves) and he got me the perfect gift.

hell yes i run these towns

He loves me more than anyone on the face of this planet.


Does everyone have their Christmas lists completed and selfishly sent out to their families?

I asked for a treadmill and a million dollars, but instead my family just called me an assh*le and threw my list in the recycling bin (at least they’re eco-friendly!).


In other news, I’m training for a Half Ironman with Team in Training. I’m also fundraising which is really intimidating. If you or someone close to you has been affected by blood cancers and would like to make a tax deductible donation or share my website on your blog/facebook/twitter then please do. Here’s the link. Please donate so I can stop whoring my fundraising page out to the masses and stop beggin for money. Begging is NOT a good look on me.


I guess I need a bike…


Soooooo….. Apparently I registered with Team in Training for the Memorial Hermann Half Ironman.

1.2 Mile Swim

56 Mile Bike Ride

13.1 Run

What the sh*t did I just do?

I'm freaking out right now!

I don’t really know how to swim. So hopefully they’ll help me out with that one. I mean, I can swim enough to get me from one side of the pool to another, but I can’t like, do it all legit and stuff. And apparently you have to do some swimming in a triathlon or something. Those scrawny a$$ little arms you see in the picture up there have to figure out what to do. And I guess my legs do too. Whatever.

Two curse words (bleeped out obviously by *’s and $’s) in one post… This obviously means business.

Since I’m doing this with Team in Training, I will obviously be fundraising. I’m going to get started on some sort of raffle (ahem… Opportunity Drawing). I just need to find good stuff to give away and people willing to buy tickets. I’m figuring out the logistics, but it will be offered to my handful of readers as well. If you want to track my progress (without the bleeps of course. All of the cursing is left for this blog.) you can check out my Fundraising Page here.

Now I have to get back to drinking my Pinot Grigio.

life altering events


First off, hello. Let me re-introduce myself. I’m Ashlee. I’m awesome. the end.

I’ve had some pretty important things happen to me recently. Let’s make a list to discuss.

1) Ripken has a sore on his leg that we had to wrap in a homemade cast because the dude won’t leave it alone. So we did what any normal person does when their dog has a cast. We signed it.


2) I may or may not be signing up for a Half Ironman tomorrow with Team in Training.

3) I went to a wedding with Nathan and we tried to take a picture of ourselves since we both looked fancy. This is what we got.

4) I just learned that “Sherbert” is actually spelled AND pronounced “Sherbet.” This is more traumatizing than the time I learned that the T at the end of Yoplait was silent. I don’t even know what to say right now.

5) My husband turned into somethone that isn’t my husband.

6) And finally, my perfect little nephew that is supposed to stay little and tiny forever turned 2. Rude.


Someone come pick me up off of my livingroom floor and immediately insert an IV of Pinot Grigio directly into my arm.


WordPress is dumb sometimes


This is the cake picture it wouldn’t let me put in my last post.


Best anniversary yet.


Remember how I said I signed up for Turkey Trot? Ha. Running Trots jokes still make me laugh. Anyway, I’ve been running 1-2 miles every few days to get my lungs back in shape, my legs back in shape, and so that I don’t feel all around lazy.

On my run last night something unbelievable happened. So unbelievable that I have to pinch (prounounced pee-nch) myself just to make sure it actually happened. …Nathan ran with me. It was fun. I was so happy we may as well of been holding hands and skipping thru fields of daisies. It was my favorite thing that has happened since Sunday.

Sunday was our 1 year wedding anniversary (pausing for applause). We celebrated on Friday night and went to dinner Maguire’s. I had the steak and lobster special and he had steak too. But let me skip to the important part of dinner. The dessert.


Holy crap. It was chocolate lava cake and when you put your fork into it chocolate spewed out like a freaking fire hydrant. Maybe that’s a touch dramatic, but it was close.

After dinner Nathan told me he had a surprise and I had to close my eyes. ALL THE WAY TO THE SECRET DESTINATION!

*****riding in the car*****      ********trying not to get car sick********

30 minutes later we arrived at our top secret destination (it’s always top secret when you’re royalty). It was the hotel we stayed at our wedding night. The Omni Mandalay in Las Colinas. I LOVE this hotel. LOVE it.

So we went to our room, laid around and watched crime shows on A&E and passed out. We’re partiers I tell ya. Partiers. Saturday morning we woke up and he surprised me with an amazing breakfast and couples massage. It was the best day of my whole life. Besides the day I married the guy.

Sunday was our actual anniversary so we carved pumpkins, sat around the house watching football, and just were all around awesome.

My pumpkin is the H. His is the pumpkin with obvious bad oral hygiene habits.

Getting back into the swing of things


Today I ran for the first time in over a month. It felt really good, really bad, really defeating, and really rewarding.

Good because I was running again.

Bad because I was running again (and maybe because I finished a half glass of wine as I was running out the door).

Defeating because I’m out of shape again and starting from scratch (and because I finished have a glass of wine as I was running out the door).

Rewarding because I was running again.

Me before I went out to run:

Apparently when you wear tshirts 3 times your size it makes you look fat.

I took a picture while I was running, but I didn’t stop because I was totally creeped out that I was taking pictures of peoples houses.

Is that illegal?

As I was getting back to the house, I took a picture of my pitiful performance.


And then I promptly went back to the fridge to retrieve the remainder of the wine.

Coffee creamer, mayo, champagne, milke, and wine. picture of heatlh.

Now that I’m running again I signed up for this race. Well, I’m running again BECAUSE i signed up for that race. But that’s beside the point. I’m running again, I’m no longer going to wear tshirts that are far, far too big for me, and I’m going to drink the rest of the wine. I call that a successful evening. OH! And I finished a tshirt I’m making for my friend Kim who is running the Trot with me. No, she doesn’t have the running trots. She is running Turkey Trot with me. Get it right.

For those of you that can't read native zebra print that says, Show me your gobbler

Over and out.

The marathon that wasn’t


This past weekend I was supposed to run a marathon… You may have heard of it… The Chicago Marathon. Here are the 4 major headlines from race day:

  1. A woman gave birth 7 hours after running it.
  2. Moses Mosop won and then promptly vomited (not major? at least he didn’t shat himself)
  3. Liliya Shobukhova won the women’s race and it was the second fastest women’s time EVER (2:18:20).
  4. Tragically, William Caviness, collapsed and died less than half a mile from the finish line. According to this article, he was the “picture of health” and his death is still a mystery.

It seems so trivial at this point to feel sorry for myself after such a tragedy on the course. While I didn’t get to run this marathon, I get to run others. I got to fly home from Chicago to my family, my dogs, and sign up for another race (San Diego 2012 here I come!). So I’m done feeling bad about it. Instead I’m going to get off my lazy a$$ and get back in the gym.

Here’s my non-race Chicago recap:

Thursday night we landed and our friend Meni picked us up from the airport. We went straight to Piece Pizza and had mashed potato pizza. NO LIE! It was like my fairy godmother vomited on a pizza pan and covered the vomit in little bits of Heaven. Then she baked it and served it right to our table. It was on my top 10 list of favorite bad-for-you-foods I’ve ever eaten.

On Friday we went to the race expo where I proceeded to embarrass myself by crying as soon as we walked in the door. We picked up the most expensive tech shirt I’ve ever purchased and walked back out. Then I went to H&M where I spent a small fortune on clothes that I couldn’t live without and went back to Meni and Erin’s stupid awesome apartment.

We played Wii and watched the Rangers WIN on their patio. Wait.. What? They have a TV on their patio? Um, no. We projected that sh*t onto a brick wall.


Sunday morning all I wanted to do was get up, head to the finish line a couple hours after race start and see the winners. I of course overslept and missed it (and promptly started crying my eyes out AGAIN!). But I was able to get to mile 15 in time to see my friend Kimberly killin’ it on the course. YAY!!! The rest of Sunday we watched football, walked around Wicker Park, made fun of hipsters that try and look poor but really aren’t, and Meni cooked us a REALLY good meal. Veggie burgers, sweet potato fries, and mac&cheese. Those two vegetarians are after own heart I tell ya.

Chicago runners with Sears Tower in the background:

Monday was our flight home so all we did were crossword puzzles. I may have made a compete ra-tard out of myself.


Please note the highlighted word and clue


Nathan entered the word and I said, “imok? I’ve never heard that word. huh.” He looked at me like I was quite possibly the biggest idiot on the face of the planet and said, “how about I’m Ok. have you heard of that?” whatever. crosswords are hard.

One more picture from the weekend that is definitely worth mentioning. Our friends Veronica and Ford were also supposed to run the marathon on Sunday, but ended up getting injured too. The marathon slogan was “Let’s Run Together.” So Veronica altered it some.

New Slogan "Let's Get Drunk Together." So we did.